Everybody’s Babushka
I had a calling this year to change my business name. It wasn’t resonating with me or inspiring me to expand my craft. Instead, I dove into an internal search for what does inspire me and kept going back to my roots, my family. When I thought of my family, I always pictured the matriarch at the helm, my babushka Roza. Then, Roze Wood Creative was born.
You see, babushka was a beacon of pure energy. She fought for peace, she wanted harmony, and she cared deeply for others and their happiness. Babushka was buried in the dress she wore on my wedding day.
I’ll never forget how people were magnetized to her. Whether it was dancing with her, helping her at the table, or making sure she made it to her room okay. Nobody left her side - even if they didn’t know her. That’s because it was one of her special talents. She made everyone feel loved, just with her beautiful smile. She made everyone feel comfortable, as soon as they looked at those sparkling brown eyes. And those hugs and humor? Well, they could cure the cloudiest of days. She didn’t need to speak the same language to relate to people. And, most importantly, she made sure bellies were full at all times. Because that’s what babushkas do. That’s why she was everyone’s babushka.
In her last days, babushka gave us a gift that none of our loved ones that left us have been able to do. She was able to give her goodbyes. She said she holds no animosity against anyone. She said she was at peace. She wanted nothing but the best for our family, for our friends, and for the world. She asked that no body forget her. The truth is - souls like that are impossible to forget.
The funeral has now come and gone and we’ve slowly gone back into a routine. And, April is coming.
Brief background: My birthday is on April 21 and babushka’s is April 28. Unfortunately, many deaths in our family occurred in April as well. Being Jewish, you typically cannot partake in celebrations during this period of mourning so babushka and myself always connected on the grief through our birthday months. Even on her death bed she said she cannot die in April. She knew the impact that would have. Instead, she made it to International Women’s Day, a day that celebrates strength and power and has always been highly celebrated in our culture as 8 Марта. What a badass.
I can’t help being caught in this mental tug of war between grief and celebration. She would want us to live, laugh, love. But when I think of those things, I think of babushka being a part of it. I recently read one of those inspirational social media posts that go viral - it talked about grief and how you don’t just lose someone one day, but every day. Over and over. That’s what makes grief so hard.
Speaking of grief - IUI #1? The one that happened in the midst of the 30 days from hell and concluded in 24/7 care of babushka. Yea, that was a fail. Honestly, I knew it. There was no way that could have been a successful attempt when it was filled with such grief and pain all around me. It’s okay. At least that’s what I’m choosing to tell myself. We went right into our second attempt and have since had IUI #2. Now is the two-week wait. For anyone who is TTC (Trying to Conceive), this is an actual medical "phase" of the fertility journey - "the two-week wait."
Let me tell you something about me and my fellow Taurus’…
“Taurus are notoriously impatient at times. Taurus is a go getter and when things get in their way and prevent them from moving forward it can frustrate them to no end.” (as copied from the first google search result, zodiacfire.com)
Well that’s just fucking great, right? It’s fine. We’re fine. Just think “positive thoughts,” the continued prescription for a successful IUI. Cool, cool. I know there’s a right time for everything, trust me. And I’m a huge believer in signs. But, dear universe, we are ready. Babushka, my protector up above, we are ready. Will you put in a good word for us?