There’s strength in suffering
I was five seconds away from titling this "The Suffering." I've lived in too much of it recently.
From the tears shed these past two weeks as we all watch my grandmother disintegrate into a shell of herself to the actual shelling of the Cherynobl Nuclear Power Plant that in 1986 caused great suffering to my then pregnant mother. Let's not forget the images of displaced mothers and children escaping from Ukraine and the outcries of our family and friends in Kiev as they survive another night in turmoil.
Suffering is universal. It's the look of fear in your eyes, pupils dilated. It's the physical pain outweighing the emotional, or vice versa. It's the deep breaths and long exhales. It's the sleepless nights, or the endless sleeping. It's the pure feeling of not belonging. It's the fogginess, the wincing, the agony, the discomfort. We've all experienced a form of suffering and whether we like it or not, it brings us together. It allows for empathy. It allows you to reach out to your friend when you haven't heard from them in a while. It allows you to bathe your naked mother's body as the morphine zombifies her before your eyes. It allows you to open your home to strangers who need a shelter and a warm place to stay as they escape war. It allows you to show strength when others cannot.
Holy shit. Strength. There it is. Fuck suffering. Yes, we need to suffer to know we are human. It means we are alive. But, through suffering we are able to show the strength we have individually, and as a collective group. We suffer, and we live. Why? Strength. Hope you're still with me.
Without the strength to survive, to fight for another day, to overcome our fears, we are powerless. My babushka's apartment is packed with adrenaline-filled strength right now, especially as I watch my mom take an hour nap in between the prescribed morphine doses.
The best part of all, strength is contagious. That shit is SO contagious. One person's strength can spark a flame for an entire country to fight for their freedom, even with all odds against them. One person's strength can also provide electric energy when they're running on minimal sleep each day. Sometimes you have to choose to be strong, while other times it's okay to be impacted by someone else's ability to show strength. It's a cycle. And, that's okay. The sooner we accept that we aren't always going to start the flame or carry the metaphorical strength torch, the sooner we can forgive ourselves and our neighbors. The sooner we can understand each other. The sooner we can reach peace in the world, within our homes, and within ourselves.